There has been a lot going in life lately. A lot of decisions (some made, some yet to be), some happiness, some pain.
A thought struck me while reading a book two nights ago (light reading, and to stop myself from going into the loop of 'thinking too much').
If you have been in more than one relationship, you carry a certain amount of baggage into your next one. I would guess that with each subsequent relationship this baggage would increase. This may show in your present relationships in the form of insecurities, hurt, expectations, comparisons etc etc.
Now the thing is, how many of us realise that we are carrying this around? In other words, how many of us 'claim the baggage'?
Do we understand that sometimes when we get irritated or angry with our partners, it may not be because of something s/he has done, but because of something that had happened to us before?
I am not saying that the 'ideal' situation is to not carry any baggage. I don't think that is even possible. Your past has made you what you are today.
My point is that sometimes you act and take decisions based on this 'baggage', rather than on what the present situation calls for. Again, I am not saying that this is good or bad. All I am asking is whether we realise we are doing this or not.
From personal experience I think we realise it, usually, when something goes wrong. I guess there is no need to question anything when things are going fine anyway.
But IF we realise that something is wrong, how many of us would really 'claim the baggage', when probably the easier thing to do would be to blame the other person? And what really do we do with this baggage?
Again from personal experience, I would say that there is nothing really to be done. I believe that once you claim this baggage, you'd know what to do. It might, it just might, explain a lot of things. But the important thing to do is to claim it.
Think about it?
7/9/2008 10:10 PM
© Me!
A thought struck me while reading a book two nights ago (light reading, and to stop myself from going into the loop of 'thinking too much').
If you have been in more than one relationship, you carry a certain amount of baggage into your next one. I would guess that with each subsequent relationship this baggage would increase. This may show in your present relationships in the form of insecurities, hurt, expectations, comparisons etc etc.
Now the thing is, how many of us realise that we are carrying this around? In other words, how many of us 'claim the baggage'?
Do we understand that sometimes when we get irritated or angry with our partners, it may not be because of something s/he has done, but because of something that had happened to us before?
I am not saying that the 'ideal' situation is to not carry any baggage. I don't think that is even possible. Your past has made you what you are today.
My point is that sometimes you act and take decisions based on this 'baggage', rather than on what the present situation calls for. Again, I am not saying that this is good or bad. All I am asking is whether we realise we are doing this or not.
From personal experience I think we realise it, usually, when something goes wrong. I guess there is no need to question anything when things are going fine anyway.
But IF we realise that something is wrong, how many of us would really 'claim the baggage', when probably the easier thing to do would be to blame the other person? And what really do we do with this baggage?
Again from personal experience, I would say that there is nothing really to be done. I believe that once you claim this baggage, you'd know what to do. It might, it just might, explain a lot of things. But the important thing to do is to claim it.
Think about it?
7/9/2008 10:10 PM
© Me!
2 comments:
Agreed.
And I suppose the more we come across situations in our relationship which deal directly with part of this baggage we are carrying, and we are in a position to handle ourselves accordingly and react to the situation and our partner in the 'right' way, we probably help ourselves lose some of this baggage. We just did something which was contrary to what we would have done if we responded to our partner solely based upon what the baggage would make us do. So, would we lose this baggage?
If you see what I am asking/saying.
Also, if you dont, we can ALWAYS have chocolate-chipped ice-cream :)
Manyu
I think it'd depend on you. The chances of you losing that baggage are more when you know you are carrying it around.
And we can STILL have choco-chips (or chipped, though I wonder how chipped ice cream would look like!) ice cream :)
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