My Santa

A roaring laughter
An infectious smile
My Santa

A helping hand
A ready hug
My Santa

Words of kindness
Words of encouragement
My Santa

22 years of love
22 years of guidance
22 years of memories

My Santa
My guardian angel
My dad

© Me 2006
25th December, 4:26 PM

And then...

Well, after a long gap of posting, there is no way I am going to just write that one post!

Yes, life's good right now, but that doesn't stop ME from thinking. ;)

I just remembered a wonderful poem I had read in school, written by Harivansh Rai Bachchan. Wait, let me try and find a link to it... [10:32 PM]

Or better still... [10:34 PM]

जीवन में एक सितारा था

माना वह बेहद प्यारा था
वह डूब गया तो डूब गया
अंबर के आंगन को देखो
कितने इसके तारे टूटे
कितने इसके प्यारे छूटे
जो छूट गए फ़िर कहाँ मिले
पर बोलो टूटे तारों पर
कब अंबर शोक मनाता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई

जीवन में वह था एक कुसुम
थे उस पर नित्य निछावर तुम
वह सूख गया तो सूख गया
मधुबन की छाती को देखो
सूखी कितनी इसकी कलियाँ
मुरझाईं कितनी वल्लरियाँ
जो मुरझाईं फ़िर कहाँ खिलीं
पर बोलो सूखे फूलों पर
कब मधुबन शोर मचाता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई

जीवन में मधु का प्याला था
तुमने तन मन दे डाला था
वह टूट गया तो टूट गया
मदिरालय का आंगन देखो
कितने प्याले हिल जाते हैं
गिर मिट्टी में मिल जाते हैं
जो गिरते हैं कब उठते हैं
पर बोलो टूटे प्यालों पर
कब मदिरालय पछताता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई

मृदु मिट्टी के बने हुए हैं
मधु घट फूटा ही करते हैं
लघु जीवन ले कर आए हैं
प्याले टूटा ही करते हैं
फ़िर भी मदिरालय के अन्दर
मधु के घट हैं,मधु प्याले हैं
जो मादकता के मारे हैं
वे मधु लूटा ही करते हैं
वह कच्चा पीने वाला है
जिसकी ममता घट प्यालों पर
जो सच्चे मधु से जला हुआ
कब रोता है चिल्लाता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई

The power of the Internet is, indeed, great!
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The thing is that I really want to meet Marcus Fenix right now, IF IF IF and when my brother gives up Niko Bellic. GRRRR The X-Box wars begin!
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I'll just sleep then [11:05 PM]
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19/11/2008

Happy post!

Life's good, that's all there is to it! :-D

How?!!

How do people do it?!

Regularly update their blogs?
(I am posting after a gap of a little over a month!)

Have a flat stomach after gorging?
(I look at least 4-5 months pregnant!)

Have a 'balanced' life?
(I don't even know what that means!)

Get up on time?
(It's always at least half an hour after the alarm goes off!)

Not get tempted by chocolate cake, or anything chocolate?
(I mean HOW?!)

So many questions, so many questions...

-Prash
5/11/2008 9:16 PM

© Me, me and me

The post some people expected

This post is long overdue...

Two weeks back, blasts rocked the city. Today, another blast.

Today, was home. On the 13th, was about 100-200 metres away. Could've been nearer--call it luck, fortune, blessing, or nothing at all.

Left Costa Coffee with three friends and were walking towards the car parked in the parking near Rajeev Chowk metro station. Crossed Central Park.

While friend was taking the car out of the parking, got a call from home. "Bomb blast in Karol Bagh, get home straight!"

Was thirsty. Saw a vendor just before Palika's gate 1, but realised was ice cream, no water. Saw another one, just after the entrance to the parking lot. Parked car to buy a bottle of water. A friend got out to get it.

And then, it was like one of the bombs people pollute the air with at Diwali. Was confused as to what exactly had happened. Friend got back in the car shouting, "Bhagaa gaadi bhagaa, it's a (&^$^*& bomb blast." Went numb, don't remember who said what for the next couple of seconds. And then BOOM! Another one. This one sounded more dangerous, even though was much farther away. Were just before the Kharak Singh Marg exit, so just about missed the chaos and traffic.

Saw people running, smelt the smoke in the air, felt a chill. Started frantically calling friends. Was beginning to get slightly hysterical, coz networks were jammed. Got news about blasts in GK Market. Fear, anger, more calls.

Dropped one friend at Dhaula Kuan. Reached home. Saw relief in faces. More calls, more messages. Sat in front of TV, watching news. Still a little numb.

Was there, was just there. At just the safest distance. Thousands of what ifs started crossing mind. Went crazy with that. Decided that watching the news wasn't the best thing. More calls, more messages.

Slept with the light on.

Darkness usually doesn't scare me. That day it did.

27/9/2008 11:59 PM

© Prasheila

Next post--maybe tomorrow, maybe day after, maybe after a week--what I think of terrorism.

What do you not like?

There are so many things that a person doesn't like. Food, clothes, TV programme, movie, music, website, design, book...

Right now, it's a feeling. Not exactly helplessness, but confusion. The "where is life going" confusion. That's the simple way to put it. There are so many things, I wouldn't know where to start.

Just so many things...

-Prash
20/9/2008 10:54 PM

Baggage claim

There has been a lot going in life lately. A lot of decisions (some made, some yet to be), some happiness, some pain.

A thought struck me while reading a book two nights ago (light reading, and to stop myself from going into the loop of 'thinking too much').

If you have been in more than one relationship, you carry a certain amount of baggage into your next one. I would guess that with each subsequent relationship this baggage would increase. This may show in your present relationships in the form of insecurities, hurt, expectations, comparisons etc etc.

Now the thing is, how many of us realise that we are carrying this around? In other words, how many of us 'claim the baggage'?

Do we understand that sometimes when we get irritated or angry with our partners, it may not be because of something s/he has done, but because of something that had happened to us before?

I am not saying that the 'ideal' situation is to not carry any baggage. I don't think that is even possible. Your past has made you what you are today.

My point is that sometimes you act and take decisions based on this 'baggage', rather than on what the present situation calls for. Again, I am not saying that this is good or bad. All I am asking is whether we realise we are doing this or not.

From personal experience I think we realise it, usually, when something goes wrong. I guess there is no need to question anything when things are going fine anyway.

But IF we realise that something is wrong, how many of us would really 'claim the baggage', when probably the easier thing to do would be to blame the other person? And what really do we do with this baggage?

Again from personal experience, I would say that there is nothing really to be done. I believe that once you claim this baggage, you'd know what to do. It might, it just might, explain a lot of things. But the important thing to do is to claim it.

Think about it?
7/9/2008 10:10 PM

© Me!

V for Vendetta

I am not going to write too much in this post. If you understand what I am saying, good. If you don't, then watch the movie V for Vendetta.

I am not hinting at anything here. It was what you can call a random thought when I read this in the newspaper. What if what they show in the movie is happening right now? Not in the exact sense, but in the way and the reason information is disseminated.

(This is, of course, not the 'newspaper' I read it in!)

-Prasheila
25/8/2008 6:57 PM

Life as I don't think it?

As and when I get time (read as and when I take it out :-P), I will keep adding some gadgets to my blog. There is a nice gadget called 'Cheeky quotes' I found, but it didn't look too good on this template.

Anyway, so here's the deal. I had a nice long chat with one of my best friends last night after the blog entry. Besides of course the expected "Where the hell did all the posts go?", the chat steered to my 'thinking', of how I 'sometimes' think a little too much.

Does it ever happen to you that you think about one or more things so much that reality gets warped and the whole situation changes, but only in your head? And this contorted reality stays in your head for sometime, and kind of ruins situations and sometimes, worse still, relationships.

How do you get out of this? Does it happen to you often? Has it happened to you maybe once?

Or is it just me? (sigh)

Later then,
Prasheila
23/8/2008 10:47 PM

PS: My friend also suggested I update my blog everyday. No harm trying. :)

© Yea, still with me. :)

Life as I think it

If you have ever come here before, you'll probably notice a 'small' change. All the posts are gone. If it's any comfort, I have them all, complete with comments, in a safe place (read gmail inbox).

I don't remember the exact time I had started this blog, some people who know me will find that hard to believe as I am supposed to be a 'calendar'. I think it was some two years back, but well don't really remember. Might have been three. But I do remember that this was the original template I had chosen and this is what my blog was originally called -- Life as I think it.

I never treated this space as a blog, but rather as a place to keep my poems and other writings together. For some reason it was a safer place, open to the world to see, but there was comfort in the fact that not a lot in the 'world' would actually see it.

Coming back to the present changes. Well a lot is changing in life for me. And I decided it was time for this to change too. I have promised myself to update my blog at least once a week, and share with those who read what I think of life. I might not actually do it, but you always start with hope and sometimes a wish.

Some people will be shocked that I've done something so drastic. But if they know me well enough, they'll know that that's how I sometimes do things. It's not really for the 'shock value', but about beginning from a clean slate. You can't have that in life, but well there are some places, like this, where you can actually do it.

I have always 'blogged' using my real name, and will continue to do so. A lot of you might use the anonymity that the Internet offers while posting comments, but I'll request you to be brave enough to be true. I promise not to kill you if you say something offending, derogatory, or mean. Well I might delete your comment, but that's about it.

I love most of my previous posts and in the course of time, I will definitely post back my favourites. But for now I am going to leave you with this new one.

Cheers to new beginnings!

See you around,
Prasheila
23/8/2008 1:32 AM

© As always remains with me! :)