The post some people expected

This post is long overdue...

Two weeks back, blasts rocked the city. Today, another blast.

Today, was home. On the 13th, was about 100-200 metres away. Could've been nearer--call it luck, fortune, blessing, or nothing at all.

Left Costa Coffee with three friends and were walking towards the car parked in the parking near Rajeev Chowk metro station. Crossed Central Park.

While friend was taking the car out of the parking, got a call from home. "Bomb blast in Karol Bagh, get home straight!"

Was thirsty. Saw a vendor just before Palika's gate 1, but realised was ice cream, no water. Saw another one, just after the entrance to the parking lot. Parked car to buy a bottle of water. A friend got out to get it.

And then, it was like one of the bombs people pollute the air with at Diwali. Was confused as to what exactly had happened. Friend got back in the car shouting, "Bhagaa gaadi bhagaa, it's a (&^$^*& bomb blast." Went numb, don't remember who said what for the next couple of seconds. And then BOOM! Another one. This one sounded more dangerous, even though was much farther away. Were just before the Kharak Singh Marg exit, so just about missed the chaos and traffic.

Saw people running, smelt the smoke in the air, felt a chill. Started frantically calling friends. Was beginning to get slightly hysterical, coz networks were jammed. Got news about blasts in GK Market. Fear, anger, more calls.

Dropped one friend at Dhaula Kuan. Reached home. Saw relief in faces. More calls, more messages. Sat in front of TV, watching news. Still a little numb.

Was there, was just there. At just the safest distance. Thousands of what ifs started crossing mind. Went crazy with that. Decided that watching the news wasn't the best thing. More calls, more messages.

Slept with the light on.

Darkness usually doesn't scare me. That day it did.

27/9/2008 11:59 PM

© Prasheila

Next post--maybe tomorrow, maybe day after, maybe after a week--what I think of terrorism.

What do you not like?

There are so many things that a person doesn't like. Food, clothes, TV programme, movie, music, website, design, book...

Right now, it's a feeling. Not exactly helplessness, but confusion. The "where is life going" confusion. That's the simple way to put it. There are so many things, I wouldn't know where to start.

Just so many things...

-Prash
20/9/2008 10:54 PM

Baggage claim

There has been a lot going in life lately. A lot of decisions (some made, some yet to be), some happiness, some pain.

A thought struck me while reading a book two nights ago (light reading, and to stop myself from going into the loop of 'thinking too much').

If you have been in more than one relationship, you carry a certain amount of baggage into your next one. I would guess that with each subsequent relationship this baggage would increase. This may show in your present relationships in the form of insecurities, hurt, expectations, comparisons etc etc.

Now the thing is, how many of us realise that we are carrying this around? In other words, how many of us 'claim the baggage'?

Do we understand that sometimes when we get irritated or angry with our partners, it may not be because of something s/he has done, but because of something that had happened to us before?

I am not saying that the 'ideal' situation is to not carry any baggage. I don't think that is even possible. Your past has made you what you are today.

My point is that sometimes you act and take decisions based on this 'baggage', rather than on what the present situation calls for. Again, I am not saying that this is good or bad. All I am asking is whether we realise we are doing this or not.

From personal experience I think we realise it, usually, when something goes wrong. I guess there is no need to question anything when things are going fine anyway.

But IF we realise that something is wrong, how many of us would really 'claim the baggage', when probably the easier thing to do would be to blame the other person? And what really do we do with this baggage?

Again from personal experience, I would say that there is nothing really to be done. I believe that once you claim this baggage, you'd know what to do. It might, it just might, explain a lot of things. But the important thing to do is to claim it.

Think about it?
7/9/2008 10:10 PM

© Me!